


My Ultimate Immortal

by helsy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 09:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20579930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsy/pseuds/helsy
Summary: im sad that people die in danganronpa so in this version everyones alive except junko. oh also hiyoko she dies like 6 pages in. so if you like her...L to you





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my stupid brother emil who is a fuyuhiko kinnie so L to him](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+stupid+brother+emil+who+is+a+fuyuhiko+kinnie+so+L+to+him).

It was a sunny day in god-fucking-knows-where in Japan and various students of class 77 were hanging out in the old building of Hope's Peak academy (because the new building was never made). Fuyuhiko was hanging out with his sister Natsumi WHO WAS ALIVE and they were drinking like, durian juice or something. They were sitting on the stairs. "Fuyuhiko I have just realized I do not know anyone named Sato. Isn't that a little weird?"-asked Natsumi,who was alive.   
"Oh my god, literally do you have a brain, who cares."- said Fuyuhiko. Natsumi hit him on the head.  
Nagito Komaeda walked up the stairs and approached the two. He was a teen with inexplicably white hair and he was sexy but in a rat kinda way.   
"Hello Kuzuryuu siblings"-said Nagito. No normal person talks like that however Nagito is fucked up.   
"What do you want weirdo?"- said Natsumi, who was alive.  
"Just socializing"- said Nagito, smiling.  
"Well, get lost, nobody likes you"- replied Natsumi, alive, then proceeded to play candy crush on her phone.  
"Natsumi, have some respect for people older than you"-Fuyuhiko reprimanded his sister-"But yeah Komaeda get lost, you smell like roadkill and your sense of humor is weird"  
"Okay but can I first tell you something?"- asked Komaeda.  
"I mean, if you have to. Tschk, it's not like I wanna listen to it or something"- replied Fuyuhiko, who was a closeted tsundere.  
"There was like a big murder case near our school. Did you hear about it?"  
Fuyuhiko jumped to his feet, angrily pointing at Nagito. He was like 5'1 so even though he stood one step higher than Nagito did, he could not look him straight in the eye.   
"Are you implying our family did that?!?!" Fuyuhiko yelled "Do you even know wh-" he stopped because his sister punched him in the ankle.   
"Oh my god I can't believe we're related. Shut up about being yakuza for three seconds maybe?" she said. Fuyuhiko looked ashamed because he literally did not have any other personality traits aside being a tsundere that was also a yakuza. He shut up.  
"I'm not implying that" said Nagito "Just making small talk. Anyway it's supposedly some girl named Junko. No one knows who killed her or why but yeah she was found dead yesterday morning"  
"Oh I actually heard about that"- Natsumi rose her eyes from above her phone -"Good riddance though, gyaru girls are so annoying. Being a racefaker is not a fashion sense"  
"Since when are you woke?"- asked Hajime Hinata, who was apparently eavesdropping on the whole conversation.  
"Since when can you talk to someone of my status?" snapped Natsumi and went back to playing candy crush. Hajime rolled his eyes.  
"Don't you roll your eyes at me!" yelled Natsumi from above her phone.  
"How did you even know? You're not even looking at me. What the fuck."  
"Nie interesuj się bo kociej mordy dostaniesz" said Natsumi, who was, by the way, alive.  
Natsumi and Hajime were going to the same reserve course class, even though Hajime was older than her. That was because Natsumi was rich and important and her parents had several minions armed with guns, but also because Hajime is painfully average and boring and ugly. Anyway, they went to the same class, so when the bell rang, they both walked off together, even though they weren't talking to each other, because Natsumi was still playing candy crush. Fuyuhiko and Nagito wouldn't start class until later so they just stayed on the stairs. Nagito was staring at him blankly.   
"What are you doing." said Fuyuhiko "I thought you were gonna leave after you told us about the murder thing."  
Komaeda seemed to have snapped out of his trance, he blinked twice and shook his head, then looked back at Fuyuhiko. "Oh, I kinda left mentally and forgot I was physically still there 🙂" he explained. Fuyuhiko thought it was weird but like, he didn’t expect much from this rat-human abomination so he just kind of ignored it. He was swinging his legs, sitting on the stairs again. Nagito still did not leave.   
"Since your bitch ass is already here do you wanna maybe hang out or something. I mean it's not like I want to or anything but there's still like an hour until class begins"-asked Fuyuhiko.  
"I don't blame you, nobody would want to hang out with scum like me...." Nagito hugged his shoulders and looked down on the floor.   
"Look, do you wanna hang out or not"- sighed Fuyuhiko, already regretting the question.  
"Yes but I am worthle-"  
"Okay bitch stop traumamining let's go"- he pulled on Nagito's sleeve and began tugging him towards the exit of the school.   
"Where are we going?" asked Nagito "I do not know what casual teen hang outs are. No one wanted to spend time with me in middle school except my unnamed dog"  
Fuyuhiko did not reply because he would have to repeat his line about traumamining and that’s only funny the first time. After a short walk through the schools halls they arrived outside. The day was still sunny, because it's been like 20 minutes if not less since the narrator has first stated that it is sunny. Plus, it's Japan and they have a sun in their literal flag so maybe they should stop having tsunamis and monsoons every single day, just a thought.  
Nagito did not ask what they were doing a second time, because he had concluded that since Fuyuhiko did not answer him the first time, that meant he was simply unworthy of an answer. He was still wondering about it though. But since he was Ultimate Luck, he got the answer he was hoping for anyways.  
"We're gonna get icecream, bitch" said Fuyuhiko.   
"Wow, my mom has never bought me icecream"   
Fuyuhiko sighed because he was tired of Nagito making his traumatic childhood his problem, as if he didn't have his own traumatic childhood to worry about. He didn't say anything mean though because he respects trauma survivors. Instead he said: "Okay weirdo let's go".   
They went to the local sklep monopolowy (but in japanese) and got lody kaktusy (but in japanese). They only got them because there was no different kind at the shop. Fuyuhiko scratched off the disgusting green chocolate thing to the ground because he respects himself. Nagito ate the green chocolate thing on his popsicle not because he liked it but because he thought he deserved to suffer.  
"Why do you eat the weird green thing, it tastes like despair"- said Fuyuhiko, consternated.  
"I think i deserve to suffer"- said Nagito.  
"Wow. Okay.??? Why??"  
"Because my talent sucks"  
"Okay listen my literal talent that I am for in this school is being somebody's son. And for the record, me, Natsumi and Peko had a traumatic childhood as well and i can give you our trauma counsellor's business card"- said Fuyuhiko- "I m-mean, not because I care about you or anything, just so that you shut up."  
Nagito knew Fuyuhiko was a tsundere so he understood this statement for what it was, which was a trauma survivor giving the other recovery resources out of empathy. It made his rat brain happy. He smiled.   
"Thanks Fuyuhiko"- he said  
"Well whatever. Don't mention it"  
They began heading back towards the school building to make it in time for the class (the sklep monopolowy was far away i guess). On the way there they encountered Kazuichi Soda. He was wearing glasses and had black hair because he was not insecure about his appearance being perceived by other people. He was tinkering with some small device that appeared to be some sort of a watch or biometry device. He was too focused on it to notice them. Komaeda waved at him.   
"Hey Kazuichi"-he said. Kazuichi jumped back, startled by this sudden interruption, but quickly calmed down.   
"Oh, hey guys." he said. He did not particularly like Nagito, not for any personal reason but because he thought he smelled kinda like a pigeon.   
"Aren't you heading to class, bitch? Tschk. You're gonna be late"  
"Don't be rude Fuyuhiko." Komaeda smiled and patted Fuyuhiko on the head in a patronizing way, which normally would make him furious, but was so unexpected that it made him more confused than angry. "Do you wanna walk to class with us, Kazuichi?"  
Kazuichi shrugged "I mean, sure I guess". He joined the two as they began heading towards the school.   
"You know, this set up reminds me of something"-said Komaeda, seemingly lost in thought.  
"You know, the three of us together. It almost seems like in an alternate universe, we were best friends, and the two of you were killed and I had to avenge you or something..."  
Geez, no wonder this dude had no friends in middle school- thought Fuyuhiko.  
"Oh my god"- said Kazuichi suddenly, hinting at how much more exposition of this alternate universe that the narrator is gonna hamfist in.  
"What's wrong, Kazuichi?"- asked Nagito with what sounded like genuine concern, but like, who fucking knows with this guy.  
"It's Sonia....Nevermind"  
"Why did you make that dramatic pause between her first and last name whats wrong with you?"-asked Fuyuhiko who felt as if he was the only person with braincells currently present.  
"Oh it's not her last name. I just don't wanna talk about it"-replied Kazuichi.  
"What IS her last name anyway?" wondered Komaeda.  
" Some central-european surname which has many consecutive consonants, which makes it hard to prononounce for Japanese speakers that are used to a syllabaric language and therefore will never be brough up again"- shrugged Kazuichi, definitely not giving a watsonian explanation for why Sonia's in-universe name is so fucking stupid.  
"Why don't you wanna talk about it?"- asked Nagito.  
"Nagito, I know there's something seriously wrong with you so I'm trying to not be rude but in what fucking universe is the appropriate response to someone saying 'I dont wanna talk about it' making them talk about it more?" said Fuyuhiko. He did not know why he was even defending Kazuichi's privacy because frankly Kazuichi was very stupid and kind of a perv.  
"You're right, I apologize, Kazuichi"- Nagito bowed way lower than was appropriate even in Japanese context, and weirded everyone the fuck out.  
"Anyone in this thread smoke weed?"- said Kazuichi trying to break the awkward silence but it made it even weirder. It made him want to die.  
"Okay well see you later fuckers" said Fuyuhiko and left. Kazuichi looked at Nagito, still kind of embarassed about the weed thing.  
"That's okay Kazuichi. You don't have to worry about Fuyuhiko's insults. He does not mean them sincerely. Love and light " said Nagito.  
"Yeah I was...not worried about that.. seems like youre kinda projecting there a bit dude"- said Kazuichi, who was absolutely right about that.  
"Oh. Sorry" Komaeda looked down. "I just wanted to be a good friend...guess I'm trash...even at that"  
"Oh my god. I'm not your therapist dude. Get help, for real." Kazuichi left as well because the things Komaeda said made him extremely uncomfortable.


	2. Chapter 2

A few minutes later, all of them met in class with the rest of the classmates. Fuyuhiko was sitting in the front because he was very short, along with Hiyoko Sayonji, local bitch, who was also extremely short. He looked in her direction. She was drawing torture gore porn in her notebook and also wearing a kimono.  
"H-hey, e-e-e-excuse m-me...I'm Mikan...M-mikan Tsumiki...I j-just wanted to ask...Why are you w-wearing a k-kimono to every c-class? Aren't we s-supposed to w-wear the sch-school uniform... I k-know it's only b-been a few weeks since the schoolyear started but I thought...."- a quiet voice from the desk behind Hiyoko inquired. Hiyoko started yelling random slurs including the n word. The girl that introduced herself as Mikan started crying. Fuyuhiko thought that Hiyoko was embarassing him in front of his Ultimate friends.  
The class which concerned some vague stupid subject like talent development or something went smoothly and nothing of interest had happened. Because those are rich children going to private school and not some mediocre liceum in Elbląg they only have one class a day but it lasts two and a half hours. So after that time passed the class was over and everyone got out of the classroom. Fuyuhiko spotted Mikan on his way out. She still seemed shaken. He did not approach her to console her because he did not give a single fuck about her at all. He just thought about how everyone in this fucking school needs therapy and how he wishes there was someone like Ultimate Emotional Labor to provide them all with it. Or like, at least like, Ultimate Billionaire so they could fund psychologist appointments for the entire student body. The reserve course didnt comprise of gifted wonderful starchildren, so they had normal classes, with normal breaks. It appeared that right now they were on a break then. Natsumi, who was alive, was talking to some other girls. Hajime Hinata was hanging out alone because nobody liked his plain, basic outfit. Those were the only two people from reserve course that Fuyuhiko knew and also you don't need to know anyone else so yeah.  
"Hey Fuyuhiko, what do you think of Hajime?" said Komaeda.  
"Aaah!" screamed Fuyuhiko, startled by Komaeda's sudden appearance "What?!?!?!"  
"I said what do you think of Hajime"- Nagito repeated  
"I think his appearance is really boring and he doesn't know how to dress."  
"Well I think he's super hot. Watch this"- Nagito said and approached Hajime. Fuyuhiko came closer to listen to what's going on  
"Hey Hajime, I couldn't help but notice the rainbow pin on your backpack. You're gay, right?" asked Nagito with no introduction whatsover.  
"No! I mean, yes. I mean like. Yes but don't beat me up about it"- said Hajime who was homophobicphobic (afraid of homophobes).  
"Oh, I'm not gonna. In fact I'm such worthless trash that I couldn't beat you in a fight if I tried..." sighed Komaeda "But anyway, I have a, let's say, inquiry"  
"What is it?" asked Hajime.  
"Would you agree to make a bet on a coin toss? If it's tails ten times in a row, you will go on a date with me. If it's anything but that, you don't have to"  
Hajime thought to himself. What are the chances that it's gonna be tails ten times in a row? Like, zero. Or something. He didn't know because he was not Ultimate Mathematician, goddamit.  
"Okay"- he agreed to the bet. I mean, even if he was wrong, one date with this weird ass guy couldn't be that bad right?  
Komaeda tossed the coin ten times, and indeed it was tails ten times in a row. I mean, he is Ultimate Luck for SOMETHING. "Okay well now we have to go out on a date" he said.  
"Oh my god" said Hajime, who was NOT expecting this outcome. "I guess so. Oh god this is r-word. Give me your phone, I'll add in my number and I FUCKING GUESS we will talk out the details later. Holy fuck"  
Nagito returned to Fuyuhiko, smiling.   
“Nagito I can’t believe you consider scoring a date with the most boring and ugly man in the school an achievement.” Fuyuhiko said. “Anyway I don’t care so I am going home now”- he turned around and left Nagito alone. Nagito was not hurt by that because that’s just how life was for him. Everyone started going either to class or home, and eventually he was left standing in the hallway all by himself, creating a dramatic effect. That did not phase him, but then he thought about his family: unnamed dog, and he broke down crying in the corner. He did not hear the footsteps echoing through the hallway as someone approached him, and only noticed when said person blocked the light. He looked up at the stranger. It was a skinny pale girl, with her blonde hair tied up in messy space buns. She had sharp teeth like Kazuichi and red circles under her eyes that Komaeda could not tell if they were makeup or if she was just tired. She looked down on him, judgementaly.   
“Take a shower, weirdo”- she said after a moment of silence, and then left the boy crying alone.  
And that boy? Was Nagito Komaeda.


	3. Chapter 3

Nagito did not go home that day because actually he lived in the school. Not like, as a boarding program, just didn’t have parents. He slept through the night, then was woken up by being poked with a stick. He opened his eyes. It was Natsumi who was poking him. She was also alive.  
“Get up loser, you’re embarrassing yourself.”  
“My entire existence is an embarrassment to everyone.”  
“Okay but NOW we said it. Wig”- said Natsumi in a tone of a person that was alive and definitely not dead -”So do you just like, sleep here?”  
“I kind of live here, I guess?”- said Nagito, beginning to get up. There were several other students in the hallway. They were giving Nagito weird looks, but none of them hanged around for too long, mostly because they had classes to get to, but also because they were scared of Natsumi Kuzuryuu.  
“What do you eat then?”  
“Stuff and scraps I find in the bins. Sometimes people give me food out of pity. But it’s okay, I’m lucky enough to always find stuff that’s not expired and tastes good”  
“Do you like, shower in the gym locker rooms?”  
“Oh, the school staff don’t know I live in the school. They lock the locker rooms for the night. So I literally only get to shower after actual gym class, or if someone forgets to lock the gym”  
“Oh my god, what about during the summer.”  
“Haven’t thought about it yet, I’ve only been in this school for like a few weeks. I’ll burn that bridge when I get to it.”  
“It’s cross that bridge”  
“Oh, I’ll just blow the school up”  
“Why does Fuyuhiko talk to you at all……”  
“Komaeda shrugged. He honestly had no idea why Ultimates such as Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu bother talking to worthless scum like him.”- Komaeda said, out loud.  
“...you said that out loud.”- Natsumi looked visibly uncomfortable.-”You realize you’re an ultimate too….right?” she left and went to her class. The emotional toll of dealing with Nagito for extended periods of time was too much for her to handle. Komaeda got up and began walking in the direction of his next class, which probably was some stupid subject like oppressing the lower class because everyone in this school is bougie as shit. He took his seat in the back of the classroom, where no one could see how miserable and worthless he was. The teacher soon walked into the class, but he was leading someone with him. Nagito recognized the person immediately. It was the blonde girl that told him to take a shower last night.  
“Hi class”-said the teacher in a miserable voice that indicated that he was already fucking done dealing with these r-word stupid idiots- “This is our new student, Himiko Toga. She was in the reserve course class but then it was discovered that she actually is an Ultimate. By Ultimate I mean she has literal superhuman powers and she didn’t care to mention it to us when she was being recruited so we had to move her." the teacher sent her a death glare suggesting it cost him a lot of paperwork. Toga smiled cheerfully and waved to the class.  
"Hi everyone! I'm Toga! The Ultimate Ambitious Crossover! I'm sure we will have great fun together!"  
"You wish, bitch…" said Hiyoko, which was completely uncalled for "I'm gonna make your life he-"  
Before Hiyoko Srajonji could finish the sentence, Mikan decked her from behind with a chair, killing her immediately. The class looked shocked, except Toga, who jumped towards Hiyoko's bloodied corpse and sucked out all of her blood with her stupid needle backpack thingy. The whole process took exceedingly long and honestly it was kind of awkward since no one knew what to do about it, really. Finally, it was over.  
"The amount of blood I've taken from this weird and mean child will allow me to take her shape for at least a year!" exclaimed Toga Himiko, even though literally nobody asked.  
"Oh my god" sighed the teacher "okay, class dismissed, since I've got all this bullshit to deal with now. But like, you can't go home, since the principal of the school hasn't been officially notified, so if anything happened to you on your way home that would be like, my fault, legally. So like go hang out in the gym or something"  
The students began heading out towards the exit.  
"Doesn't this seem familiar to anyone?" asked Komaeda unpromptedly.  
"What do you mean?" inquired Sonia European Surname.  
"You know, being trapped in a school...Mikan murdering Hiyoko… Someone's death becoming a stepping stone towards hope for all of us!"  
"Shut up Komaeda" said Kazuichi  
"Yeah, shut it Komaeda" agreed Akane.  
Komaeda felt hopeful.  
All of the students gathered up in the gym. They were sitting scattered in pairs or small groups. Nagito was sitting near, but not with, Akane Owari and Nekomaru Nidai. The two were chatting about exercise regimens.  
"Hey, aren't you two like super fit?" interrupted Nagito.  
"Yeah?"  
"Could you bust out the door in the men's locker room so that I can take a shower?"  
"I mean, yeah, but I don't wanna get in trouble…" Akane said  
"Mikan LITERALLY just killed the Ultimate Traditional Dancer and was not even reprimanded"  
"I dunno…"  
"What if I gave you food?"  
"All right, let's bust that door!" yelled Akane, and immediately ran towards the locker room, and drop kicked it out of its hinges.  
"Thanks Akane. Here's the food I promised you" said Komaeda and pulled out a piece of hard candy covered in lint from his jacket pocket. Akane did not seem phased by how gross it was and ate it from his hand like an Ultimate Horse .  
Komaeda went to take a shower. "Myju myju tajm" said Komaeda. He took his smelly ass clothes off and got in the shower.  
"Oh my fucking god!" he heard a scream suddenly. He turned around. It was his crush Hajime Hinata. "Why don't you drag the shower curtain if you know the door is literally busted the fuck open!! Can you at least have the decency to cover your dick now oh my godddd...disgostinge…. " Hajime covered his eyes and turned away.  
"What are you doing here!!!"  
"I wanted to take a piss!!! WHY WONT YOU COVER YOUR DICK!?!?!?"  
"I DONT KNOW I WAS SHOCKED!!! ARE YOU STILL GONNA TAKE A PISS?!?!?!?"  
"MAYBE?!??! I STILL HAVE TO BUT NOW ITS WEIRD!!!!"  
"THIS IS ALREADY WEIRD!!! JUST GO PEE!!!"  
"OKAY!!!!" yelled Hajime and turned around towards the urinal. There fell a long silence disturbed only by the sounds of Hajime's pee. Psssssshhhhhhhhshshshshshhs.  
"I pee sitting down." stated Komaeda, unprompted.  
"The date is off" grunted Hajime as he exited the bathroom.  
Komaeda dried himself off and put his dirty ass clothes back on. He smelled a little better I guess. He felt despair because his date with his crush Hajime Hinata who was gay was cancelled. He went back to the gym where everyone else was sitting. Hajime, who I’m not even actually sure why he’s there because he doesn’t even go to this class, was avoiding eye contact.  
“Why is Hajime here?” Kazuichi asked.  
“Mind your own business much?” snapped Hajime.  
“You’re literally in someone else’s class, who are you to speak of minding own business?” said Mahiru. “Stupid men”  
“Mahiru, shouldn’t you be like really shaken your girlfriend was just brutally murdered?” asked, like, someone, I don’t know.  
“Oh, I’m dating another mean lesbian blonde with symmetrical hairstyle now” Mahiru said, grabbing Toga Himiko by the waist “Plus she can turn into Hiyoko for at least a year now so who cares. And, like, she smells better.”  
“I’m actually bisexual” Toga Himiko peace signed and kissed Mahiru.  
“Wow. Lesbian-bi solidarity” said Kazuichi and dabbed.  
Everyone was in great mood because they hate cishets.  
Eventually the teacher walked into the gym.  
“Hi r-words. Hiyoko’s funeral is tomorrow. Show up. Or don’t. Not that anyone’s gonna miss her.”  
“Is Mikan gonna face any reprecussions?” asked Hajime.  
“No, it’s okay, the principal is actually glad Hiyoko is dead”  
“What about the cops?” asked Akane.  
“Oh, they don’t need to know”  
“And Hiyoko’s parents? Aren’t they gonna realize their mean daughter is gone?” Teruteru asked, also by the way Teruteru is canonically bisexual, like in the actual game, so I’m keeping him around. Hiyoko got killed because she’s mean to Kazuichi and I kin him. Anyway, moving on.  
“Do you legitimately think Hiyoko’s parents are anything but absolutely fucking done with her?”- said Kazuichi.  
“Actually that might be a problem because I think her dancing was like their sole source of income”- said Mahiru, who I guess knows Hiyoko better on account of being her girlfriend.  
“I can pose as Hiyoko”- offered Toga  
“But what if you run out of blood? What will we do then?!”  
“I’ll just say I had a growth spurt. We’re already both blondes with symmetrical hairstyles and yellow eyes.”  
“Ok but like. What about YOUR parents Toga?”- asked Kazuichi  
“Oh, they got left in the Boku no Hero Academia canon”- author’s note, I actually haven’t watched a single episode of Boku no Hero Academia.  
“Can we go home?” asked Ibuki, who’s here too.  
“Yeah I guess” said the teacher.  
Everyone went outside except Komaeda.  
“Why are you staying here? Aren’t you gonna go home?” pestered Kazuichi.  
“I live in the school, Kazuichi. That’s what scum like me deserves…” Nagito’s facial  
expression was that of someone whose snack got stuck in the vending machine.  
“Oh my god literally just move in with me right now you miserable bitch” said Kazuichi and dragged Nagito out by his arm which seems to be a recurring theme.  
“M-move in with you..? I could’t..” Nagito stuttered “That’s so bold...we hardly know each other”  
“We’re like, friends, right? And you’re literally homeless. Also I’m a communist”  
Komaeda didn’t know what to say to that so he just willingly went with Kazuichi. So that’s a whole thing now. This is gonna spiral into room mate hijinks and other such things.  
Next day because it’s been a week and I have writers block.  
Class 77 B came to school, including Komaeda who doesn’t live there anymore.


End file.
